Is seems very important to him to express himself, it’s a way of him stating to the world and other neighbours that he exists in the great plan of things.
No matter what I have said so far to him makes no difference. He seems a reasonable guy on the surface.
I tried the reasonable approach, not that I am going to try an unreasonable one, like "can you please stop doing this". He sort of lent forward with his left shoulder downward as though I was hard of hearing, gave me this piercing gaze as if to say "why are you giving me this hassle". I replied that "I was not looking for a fight" and all that I wanted was for him to not slam the his front door. "What I am I supposed to do when I come in, I got to close the door". Very logical argument. But I said this has never happened before and when he saw that I wasn't going to hit him he relented and said he will try not to do it any more, but he did anyway.
One day he had this argument with what appeared to be his ex, there was lots of shouting and angry voices. Could not hear what they said but the tone was quite clear. BANG !!!!! as she left the premises in grand finale worthy of a Shakespearean play. The door slammed with nuclear force. I ascertained that it take must years of practice to get the door to slam at just the right velocity to carry its mass into the very fabric of the building. If he where to enter the Olympics in a door slamming contest, he would surely win the gold and keep winning that medal time after time if he ever managed to live that long.
Couple of years ago we had a mini earthquake about 3.2 on the Richter scale. Not serious but enough to give one the hibbie gibes as the the whole building rocked in a very alarming context. The type of experience that sets you off in to believing in God again, because all one wants to say, is, "Oh my god"
Well his door slamming must register at the local seismic earthquake sensor station on a scale of at least 1 or say .09. So it is not as bad but still pretty impressive in building shaking terms. I am surprised that the local earthquake station did not report it in the papers as one of those strange mysterious blips they must get every so often.
Enough of that now. You see the problem, don't you. ?
Various means of dealing with the situation.
I could go to church and learn the art of forgiveness and recite "he knows not what he does", don't laugh because I think this is a very important idea. Sometimes we do things and have no idea of the effect it has on others. But this guy is not into things like that I am sure. He would just accuse me of being a 'holy joe' and smirk.
I could try a course of meditation, learn to control my inner anger, learn that a banging door is only a minute rumble in the immensity of an infinite universe, which it is actually.
Deep self awareness might help me get away from instincts of appearing to be a control freak, yes but, he is actually banging the door as stated and any reasonable person would think the same, I hope.
I could create a bust up, a big furore, let it be known to him that 'we don't stand no nonsense like this around here".
An old fashioned gentlemen approach would be to invite him outside on the lawn, roll our sleeves up and have a bare knuckle fight and let the best man win. Then in some peculiar way even if I lost we would end up respecting each other and he just might stop banging his front door. You never know ?
That's the way they used to do it, wasn't' it. Clear the air, sort it out. The police don't allow such things any more which is a shame because lots of disputes would be over and done with very quickly and no one really harmed, except for a few minor bruises. I am talking only fists mind you, nothing else.
Anyway he would win in both instances, his is younger and fitter, me older and not up to such things. No, not into violence and bust ups, really not, honest.
I could recommend to him a course of anger management. This is entirely relevant because he has learnt to behave this way from childhood. As a child if he could not get his way he would explode and slam a door. A statement of implied violence that is very effective if not challenged and confronted. He just has not grown out of it that's all and therapy would help him understand his inner feelings and deal with difficult situations in a more reasonable way. Nope, that would not work neither, "psychobabble" he would call it, hit me straight in the face to prove that violence implied or otherwise is the only way to get things done.
I could recognise his alpha male status. Get on my bended knees and ask him 'please, please, please don't bang your front door anymore, please, please, please, I am begging you'. He would treat me as a weakling, lacking backbone, maybe giving me a good kick to show that he was really the king of his particular jungle. Hey ! a man has his pride, I couldn't do such a thing.
My final option is to start an organisation that promotes peace and reconciliation in the world, promoting reconnection with each other and questioning how modern life is breaking up our abilities, we do have them, to care and understand for each other beyond the confines of our little life boxes. A good idea, but there might be an epidemic of door slamming throughout the world, just to prove to the idealists like me that peace and reconciliation is a big No No.
No way, my idealism stays.
Anyway I understand he is leaving, not doubt he will leave his mark before he goes.
Phew !?
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