Well would you believe it, my neighbour is still here. After him saying that he was going in Mid January, he is apparently going in Mid February. Phew !
No, it is yet to be seen whether he goes at all, not that I want him to go, nothing to do with me whether he comes or goes. I really mean that, it's a free country and all that.
So after he said he was going and he didn't he went through a period of appearing very silent, you know as though he had reformed, listened to all those letters sent and responded in kind like most people do. Like please forgive me I have sinned and I will no longer be so inconsiderate
But then, the plot thickens, his tenure of silence suddenly erupted into another series of explicit door banging. A few times in the early morning and one particularly fulfilling one (for him at least) at half past one in the morning.
So you see the situation is far from resolved.
My only complaint has been his banging door, nothing else, honest.
So I have come up with a new syndrome for all those out there who like to put behaviour into little pockets of diagnosis. This young man fits like a hand into a glove with DBS. I have also included a treatment plan that might work, but you implement it at your own risk, I am no doctor.
Door Banging Syndrome (DBS)
1. Assertion skills way over the top. Anger is a primary consideration here, the inability to express anger in a reasonable way.
2. A childhood of implied violence or actual violence from and/or his family or his peers.
3. Dog scenting behaviour. The act of door banging is like a dog marking his territory by urinating in particular spots to show boundaries. Instead of scent marking the noise of banging doors is used to mark territory. It is a very useful means of doing so as it resounds great distances and leaves this incredible resonating noise in the mind of others. There is no doubt about presence felt and territory declared. Very territorially bound to say the least.
4. Enjoys, in fact delights giving psychic pain to others, this is usually a childhood learnt behaviour.
5. Controls others through pain or implied pain to others. Like torture without the actual torture if you see what I mean.
6. Lack of positive role models in childhood, a weak or none existence father or mother figure, or just plain spoilt. A philosophy perhaps from family that violence is the only way to get things done. Could go either way on this causative factor.?
7. Immaturity in relationships and intolerance of others.
8. Cataclysmic antagonism to criticism, which might reveal an underlying real genuine sensitivity. (More research needed)
9. Inability to stop really annoying infuriating behaviours.
10. Has no gentle female side to his male self, David Beckham has, so we are not talking the abstract here.
11. Cultural, social intolerance, anyone who is different is clearly a threat
12. Overwhelming Egomania.
13. Bullying behaviour, control and intimidation of those he perceives as weak, stupid and especially males with a gentle disposition.
14. Have no empirical evidence about the age range, but males appear about 20-30ish, if this is common then there is clearly a case of a testerone overload and could be a victim of his own genes.
Testerone is implicated in machismo, it puffs up the muscles, the ego and has similar effects in peacocks when they strut about showing off their feathers. This behaviour is meant to drive away other males, attract and mate with females. Doors appear to get dragged into this, much to their despair, I am sure.
15. A history of inanimate object destruction, window smashing and furniture throwing have been noted in some cases. Whether this will ever translate into physical attacks on humans is yet to be seen.
16. Aversion to classical music. A sneaky suspicion, with no real evidence at all to be honest, that men playing classical music in the background all the time (quietly I must reiterate) are wimps and woossies and deserve the sound of banging doors just to break the music up a little into dramatic climaxes that even Wagner or Beethoven could not dream up.
Treatment strategies
Clearly this is a very difficult condition to treat. The greatest cure perhaps is time itself. As with many of these conditions, self awareness and exploration of the inner psyche with resolution of childhood conflicts is the only way to deal with the obvious real pain in these individuals.
I have come up with a possible treatment plan that is in its very early stages and as yet completely unproven.
It involves the DBS sufferer in 3 main activities
1. Take long walks in beautiful countryside, contemplate the beauty of nature in all it's glory
2. Wait for a clear starlit sky and spend all night observing the beauty of the infinite universe and ones own place in it.
3. Take up meditation and practise it at least once a day (as I need to do soon) and find inner calm away from the pettiness of human interaction.
Warning ! Please, please, when proposing this treatment strategy to an individual with DBS make sure that you have worked out an adequate escape route and that you can run faster than him, just in case he takes it the wrong way and becomes hostile.
Summary
The evidence for DBS is very sketchy at the moment and much more research needs to be done, A comprehension double-bind study of at least 100 DBS volunteers is needed to ensure that this condition actually exists and techniques found to treat it. Clearly one cannot create a new syndrome just on the basis of anecdotal evidence and the annoyance of one person, but there is a basis for further research and knowledge which might benefit humanity in many ways not dreamt of yet.
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